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動物笑話

貓懷疑多人格障礙：

作為一個經(jīng)驗豐富的獸醫(yī)心理學(xué)家，我有許多治療貓的各種各樣的條件，包括貓的人為障礙（籌資） ，暹羅精神分裂癥，廣義安哥拉焦慮癥候群（ GaAs ）的，歇斯底里Hairballs ， Catnip依賴，挑剔的人格障礙，當(dāng)然，為主水平（通常稱為貓分離性障礙，多類型） 。

Jokes About Animal
A cat with suspected Multiple Personality Disorder:
As an experienced veterinary psychologist, I have treated many cats for a wide variety of conditions, including Feline Factitious Disorder (F.F.D.), Siamese Schizophrenia, Generalized Angora Anxiety Syndrome (G.A.A.S.), Hysterical Hairballs, Catnip Dependence, Finicky Personality Disorder, and of course, MPD (usually known as Feline Dissociative Disorder, multiple type).

小成功是什么我已經(jīng)一直是產(chǎn)品的嚴(yán)格適用多相移情Ontogenic工作（喵） 。這是苛刻的治療和病人，而是給予足夠的動機和業(yè)主的理解，這是唯一的希望。

What small success I have had has been the product of rigorously applied Multiphasic Empathic Ontogenic Work (M.E.O.W.). It is demanding of both therapist and patient, but given sufficient motivation and an understanding owner, it is the only hope.

第一階段的治療需要反復(fù)應(yīng)用貓外移情煩躁不安的情緒練習(xí)（ FEEDME ） ，直到一個穩(wěn)定期至少1個月已經(jīng)成立。下一階段的挑戰(zhàn)開始了分裂，它需要親切的解釋Transferential地形實體和解通過觀察仇外心理演習(xí)（ LITTERBOX ） ，其中很不成體系本身是有毒的貓。最后階段產(chǎn)生一個單一的，完整的人格通過積極的統(tǒng)一重新加固（阻力關(guān)系） ，雖然這一階段可以持續(xù)向上的兩年里，至關(guān)重要的是，它進行unerringly與注重目的。徹底注釋的M.E.O.W.治療中可以找到我的最新著作， “貓的解析理論與特征：評估與技術(shù)” （ FATCAT ） 。

The first phase of treatment requires repeated application of Feline Exo-Empathic Dysphoric Mood Exercises (F.E.E.D.M.E.) until a stable period of at least one month has been established. The next phase begins the challenging of the fragmentation, and it entails the Lovingly Interpreted Transferential Topographic Entity Rapprochement By Observed Xenophobia maneuver (L.I.T.T.E.R.B.O.X.) in which the very fragmentation itself is made toxic to the cat. The final phase produces a single, intact personality through Positive Unified Reintegrated Reinforcement (P.U.R.R.), and though this phase can last upwards of two years, it is essential that it be performed unerringly with intensely focused purpose. A thorough exegesis of M.E.O.W. treatment can be found in my latest book, "Feline Analytic Theory & Character: Assessment and Technique" (F.A.T.C.A.T.).

瑪吉是她的朋友告訴格雷斯她如何得到她的兒子從床上在上午。“我只是打開他的門，拋貓他的床。他睡他的狗。”

Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog."

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